Wednesday, September 14, 2005

deep drive to splinterfield

yesterday i auditioned for a commercial. the client was a radio station. they have a sports talk show. it's called 'the zone'. for four hours beginning at six in the morning they host a segment called 'mayhem in the a.m.' designed for the sports addict.
i auditioned for the sports addict. he's hired a hooker. taken her to a seedy hotel room. here, instead of hanky panky, the john gets off listening to the calling of game 7 of the 1992 nlcs braves versus pirates. 'sid bream falls into a hole, he's chugging, a glacier moves in from left field...bream stops for a smoke etc.' only their version was verbatim the game call. and i bet there is someone who actually gets off on this.
the sweet painted lady i auditioned with came dressed for the role. it was 9 am. she was wearing fishnets, hotpants, a wig and enough make-up to make her face totally irrelevant.
the clients, a young woman and a bespectacled dude studying a laptop, did not laugh. more often than not, you get clients in love with their ideas (as they should be) laughing not at your performance, but at their words coming back to them. it validates the spot.
if anyone ever takes the time to step back and look hard at a commercial, no matter how high-concept or brilliant it is, they see it's still just a pitch. but get 30 or 40 people invested into it and it becomes an honest day's work. truthfully, the science behind filmmaking is astounding. the social benefits can be lucrative. and while everyone pretends to be behind the product and clients and the agency's creative marketing, after a day or two you forget who-what-when-why. because it's an ad, a temporal coax, meant to get a response quickly and efficiently.
so this spot is actually pretty funny. i doubt i'll get it. being skinny and nerdy, i wouldn't be the type of person to 'join the guys and gals from mayhem and vitaminwater at eatzi's in buckhead!' and i certainly don't ever want to 'c'mon out and enjoy vitamin water with zone girls.'


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You should shut the above spammers down, or hire someone to do a DOS on them for spamming your blog.


9/14/2005 11:32 AM  
Blogger maryk said...

You know, I was sooo happy when I got the email to go to a nasty hooker audition. FINALLY! I'm not gonna play the "mom." Then I got called a day later cancelling that audition because I was "too young." ...conflicting feelings about that....

9/19/2005 9:11 AM  

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