Sunday, July 17, 2005

ricky bobby and the day he met a passenger on a bus

last thursday i went to birmingham, alabama. on purpose. auditions were being held for small cameos in a new movie starring will ferrell. as of this writing it is an untitled movie.
on the door at the holiday inn conference room a sheet of white 8.5 x 11 paper read:
"untitled movie" auditions
the actor sign-in desk was helmed by one woman about 60 years old and two local boys about 14 years old. they sized me up and gave me sides for these two roles:
pasenger (sic)
the two scenes i read displayed anchorman-like wit. this new story casts will ferrell as nascar driver, ricky bobby.
several auditioning children sat around with hopeful parents. a thick, dark gentleman on a cellphone paced the lobby with a tiny blonde 7 year old boy in tow. he was upset:
"this is totally unacceptable."
he was an attorney. he had invested in a movie about the scottboro boys, and was also auditioning with his son.
"highway robbery, plain and simple."
he may have actually been referring to a robbery on a highway.
i waited for 75 minutes to be put on tape. the casting director had me read one line for the passenger. ricky bobby delivers pizzas before nascar. afraid to drive, he delivers them via city bus. my character stares at him. he offers an explanation:
ricky bobby: "i lost my license. i deliver pizzas."
me: "i really don't care."
the casting director said i was very talented. this tape would be going directly to the director, adam mckay. i told her i met adam in springfield, missouri, while he was on tour with second city and i was on tour with my improv group. the second city actors drank an entire liter of vodka straight with no chaser. they were having a rough tour.

"well, adam's married now with kids. i'll put it on your resume. maybe he'll remember you."
she wrote my little story down. if it shakes his memory, and he casts me, you may catch me in will ferrell's upcoming "untitled movie".


Anonymous Anonymous said...

awsome, good luck. Ferrelize if you can.


7/17/2005 8:55 PM  
Blogger maryk said...

Look, if you get called back, and I don't, you have to tell them to disregard my headshot (and audition), and that they need me. They need me, do you hear that? Please? B/c I got worried when I made the auditioners laugh, cuz they seemed like yokels. I mean nice people, but their laughter wasn't a compliment. Is that snobbish? yes. Please? Please?


7/22/2005 1:35 PM  
Blogger ablebody said...

"excuse me, but could you people remove the babies from your nipple, turn down the tv and laugh correctly?"

something like that. sure. anything for you.

7/22/2005 3:46 PM  
Blogger maryk said...

so, so, so...
what happened at the callback?

8/04/2005 9:48 AM  
Blogger ablebody said...

stay tuned....

8/04/2005 9:52 AM  

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