Wednesday, July 13, 2005

quakey breaky part

today i auditioned for a captain d's commercial. there was no copy. i didn't have to improvise any lines. it is called 'bite & smile' part. you take a mouthful of tasty product and react as if it's uncharacteristically good.
i love batter-fried fish. it is one of the few fastfoods i will drive thirty minutes for. i keep a stack of coupons for captain d's in a kitchen drawer. i will be smiling for realsies if i get the job.
this one has a catch. no pun intended at all. when i bit the new crunchy fish sandwich, i was to react as if an earthquake hit the restaurant. assumably it's the resonance of crunch which causes tremors.
what really causes earthquakes is a mystery. there are theories about tectonic plates and stresses along fault lines. artistotle, for all his empiricism, hypothesized there were winds beneath the earth's surface that moved the ground. before his 'scientific' theory, people held the belief that giant snakes, spiders and catfish lived underground. captain d's revives this charming explanation with their new crunchy fish sandwich.
either way, it's nice to know you can still get 10 fish fillets, 2 lobster tails, 9 hushpuppies, a half-gallon of slaw and 3 stuffed crabshells for $2.99... add eleventy-two shrimp for only 99ยข.

5 Comments:

Blogger C. A. Childers said...

The "D" stands for Delightful. That's why the good captain left the sea to open restaurants. Being a harsh mistress, a guy named Captain Delightful isn't really cut to hang on her waves or with her scallywags.

7/13/2005 5:49 PM  
Blogger ablebody said...

that is awesome. i didn't do enough research. i love it!

7/13/2005 6:38 PM  
Anonymous bo-d said...

you are the wind beneath my hot wings

7/15/2005 3:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

SWALLOW LIKE YOU LOVE IT BITCH

...sorry, couldnt resist ;-)

-Kobyrama

7/17/2005 8:52 PM  
Anonymous Sharp said...

I don't think I'd buy you as the fish eatin type. I love me some Matt-0!

8/15/2005 8:41 AM  

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