Saturday, March 10, 2007

the food, the rad, and the ughly

just an update to let you know, the interviews begin with talent agencies. they are the first line of offense for the local actor. they negotiate and they appropriate. new audio coming soon.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

happy new year!

i've shit myself with local acting gigs of late. that's been my life for the last couple months. 'course the blog has suffered. but i'm not really sure i wanna continue this thread. my buddy mcchris uses his blog for complete self promotion. zombie sitcom = movie industry critiques and the odd link. maryk gives the broadest appeal because she has boobs. overdroid thinks he is poised on the edge of total digital human domination. yet his blog celebrates the accomplishments of one joseph limbaugh, a verified homonid. and clunky robot has pretty much set the muthah-fuggin' standard for dedication and manifestbrication.
this blog has been a string of audition descriptions, slagging sets and a general tone of defiance towards the folks in command of the acting labor force.
but i'm gonna start over.
i'm gonna find out what makes this town tick in terms of movie and commercial production. stay-tuned. podcast coming soon.
insert hand-claps here.
click on the still above if you want to see a clip from a film. it stars paul giamatti and michelle willams. i am a total dink in it. but a well-dressed dink. and a fantastic mortuarian.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

foul-mouthed kids

if memory serves me correctly, she is a member of mensa. which means she's fighting a "dull" image. seriously, though, i had sex with her. her character. between the pages of the script. she cures my character's gay.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

awesome x-emplar

the guys at 7030 (clunky robot, cdub, etc.) have kicked shit up a notch. great animation, funny writing. and that is sincerely yours voicing the wizard. cdub as the halfling. amber nash stepping in as hooker from the first dimension. click to watch below, but go to to see part II. you have to. you need to get hooked and watch all of them.

Monday, December 18, 2006


alt take was 'yes. you can.'

Saturday, October 28, 2006

short-form adventures

this one day
i was invited to play a 'short form show' with t futch and his company laughing matters. he tells me that, i think , so it's clear there's no need for d e e p talk about the 'prov. it's for a multi-national corporation, after all, and they get what every multi-national corporation deserves. a few grown men tapping on audience members, filling in ____s and generally having a wingding of a time.
laughing matters is atlanta's longest running improv. we used to kid around how dad's garage would become atlanta's longest running joke. so far, so good, dad's garage.cry because you're happy
the company we did the short-form for was siemens. from their website:
Do you know how, where and when Siemens crosses your path? You may be surprised!
they crossed my path outside the walnut room. i was surprised. so surprised only a scotch on the rocks from their open bar could still my astonishment.
they were a funny group, from all over the world. what they shared was a love of sex. almost all their suggestions were typical innuendo. we made a few. but neither of us made a semen joke. it's no laughing matter.
yet another short-form improv show i was invited to occured in the north georgia mountains for a jewish kids camp. s coulter, cruchic and i drove up, coulter uttering benign phrases in a german accent. it was funny. even funnier? the first person we met at the camp was german. like, uber deutsch. the thickest german accent i ever heard. it was dripping with tomatensaft. coulter was au├čer sich vor ironie.
we workshopped through the day and into a crisp evening. we performed in their synagogue (temple for you reform types). no open bar.
on the one hundred-mile drive home through the foothills of the appalachians, cruchic pulled off the highway to a hidden dairy queen. she claims these small town DQ's are a cut above. we all got ice cream. i got a butterscotch sundae, for which the mentally handicapped man at the register charged me eight dollars US. the manager, a sixteen-year-old, remedied this with a roll of the eyes. "it's been a loo-o-ng day," he said. as an after thought, cruchic added a hot dog to her order. it came wrapped in foil. it came teeming with flies. and not just regular houseflies. but big green-eyed, freshly maggot-hatched horseflies.
she returned it for another one. i know. i'm as surprised as you are right now. scotch on the rocks...
the manager yelled through the window "hey, man! this has flies in it." the cook quickly served up a basket of french fries. "not fries, man. flies!"
at this point, cruchic wisely got her money back. none of us questioned the integrity of the desserts. we didn't wanna know.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

je sui l'petit cochon

Guys, I got a heads up on an audition for a commercial job where they need a character with a French accent. If you can do a believable accent let me know ASAP do (sic) that I can submit you. Thanks!
well, that's all i need to hear! i spent over a year dating a french girl. she can tell you, in that time, we spoke to each other a lot. almost daily. by the hairs on my barbichette, i'm your spokesthing!
my droite side is my good side. and i love manger, so in between shots, you'll find me at craft services. partaking of the brioche and fromage, and of course any super bonbons.
mind if i take off my shirt? cool. i've worked hard to look like this, and it's a waste to stay clothed.
like i said, french is a wonderful accent. when applied to english words, it softens any angular tones. might be perfect if this commercial is a soft sell. i can't tell you how many truck ads for the new model year could use a french accented announcer. somehow we americans have managed to make chevrolet an ugly word.
can you hear it:
no muh-nay down
lo-lo ay-pe-argh
pro-wd to be ani-merican.
wiss ze highess jz-ivetrain powuh in ziss way-class
in conclusion, my accent is believable. my french girlfriend sure believed a lot of the lies i told her. which were in english. so imagine how wickedly effective your campaign and i will be with je and le thrown in there!