je sui l'petit cochon

Guys, I got a heads up on an audition for a commercial job where they need a character with a French accent. If you can do a believable accent let me know ASAP do (sic) that I can submit you. Thanks!
well, that's all i need to hear! i spent over a year dating a french girl. she can tell you, in that time, we spoke to each other a lot. almost daily. by the hairs on my barbichette, i'm your spokesthing!
my droite side is my good side. and i love manger, so in between shots, you'll find me at craft services. partaking of the brioche and fromage, and of course any super bonbons.
mind if i take off my shirt? cool. i've worked hard to look like this, and it's a waste to stay clothed.
like i said, french is a wonderful accent. when applied to english words, it softens any angular tones. might be perfect if this commercial is a soft sell. i can't tell you how many truck ads for the new model year could use a french accented announcer. somehow we americans have managed to make chevrolet an ugly word.
can you hear it:
no muh-nay down
lo-lo ay-pe-argh
pro-wd to be ani-merican.
wiss ze highess jz-ivetrain powuh in ziss way-class
in conclusion, my accent is believable. my french girlfriend sure believed a lot of the lies i told her. which were in english. so imagine how wickedly effective your campaign and i will be with je and le thrown in there!