Tuesday, September 26, 2006

mmm...BAR-B-Q cat...mmm...BAR-B-Q mouse

we shot an industrial a couple weeks back for a terrific restaurant chain.
they're known for an ad campaign that utilizes cows pleading for their lives by proffering the persona non grata of chickens.
it's run by devout southern baptists who don't work on sundays. because the bible says so.
we shot on a sunday.
something else the bible says:

O jerusalem, jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not! (matthew 23:37)

i bet the slaughterhouse constantly stages this comical scene - protective mother hens gathering chicks right before they get stamped into sandwiches.
another thing the bible says:

and whether it be cow or ewe, ye shall not kill it and her young both in one day. (leviticus 22:28)

the polite thing to do, i guess. it doesn't apply to chickens. in fact, the ingredients of said chain's breakfast bagel include (among other things) eggs and chicken. that's baby chickens cooked up along with adult chickens and smothered in cheese. 'cept on sundays.
the industrial we filmed was a guide to dealing with thieves. i didn't audition for the role. they called me. they had the perfect part. thanking them and hanging up i thought 'i bet it's a thin, weaselly dude'.
the script reads:

"FINGERS" JOHNSON
is a SLIM, LITTLE WEASEL, with a SLIPPERY LOOK, DISPOSITION, & VOCAL DELIVERY.

that's me.
during the shoot, a friend of mine phillip d had this line to deliver:

However, Leon's entry was a very rare occurrence as you'll see next in my little presentation called "Gettin' in the back door!"

we all laughed. a lot. each time phillip said it. the director hollered at us. the baptists weren't amused. they said it wasn't funny.
wasn't it?
my character was part of the plan to break in. we were all excited by the prospect of "fingers" slipping in through the back door.

10 Comments:

Blogger Jed said...

I just burped up chicken and I haven't eaten it since Sunday...hmmm. Was that chicken finger?

9/26/2006 8:58 PM  
Blogger Overdroid said...

Please don't make the Baptists angry. Now they are going to declare war on the people they think are declaring a war on Christmas and make this country a Theocracy. I prefer it the way it is now. A dumbocracy.

9/27/2006 3:05 AM  
Blogger Oh, that's so Trikki! said...

Cut it with the "chick" jokes! BTW, WWJD? Would He slip through the back door to do Me on a Sunday?

9/28/2006 9:21 PM  
Anonymous Henry said...

I got a coupon for a chicken biscuit breakfast thingy.

Will it have any extra pieces of Matt in it?

9/29/2006 2:17 PM  
Blogger maryk said...

I told this story to rob grable. on the clock. we laughed a lot. on the clock.

10/05/2006 11:48 AM  
Blogger Overdroid said...

This reminds me of an Ablebody post he made a while ago. It was pretty funny and - HEY, IT'S THIS POST!


Leistering
Limitarian
Heliotrope.
Xenolithic
Vivicating
Crinion.

10/06/2006 5:30 AM  
Blogger ablebody said...

overdroid, some of us have a life outside the circuitry. we can't all be sons of lawnmower man.

10/06/2006 3:10 PM  
Blogger Overdroid said...

And yet you have time to leave messages in comments sections all across town (cyber town). Perhaps biological life cycle commitments and genetic inheritance have nothing to do with it.

10/06/2006 3:36 PM  
Blogger ablebody said...

if you leave i'll leave... let's get away from these computers! down with them! damn dirty microchips!

10/06/2006 4:07 PM  
Blogger Overdroid said...

You are wrong friend. It is the flesh that is dirty. Let us upload ourselves out of these meat sacks into immortality and logical purity! And the ;lkj;klskabb82 29734h

Error 323 (Division by 0)
Critical Error 99 (Hard Drive Failure)

10/07/2006 4:12 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home