Tuesday, August 22, 2006

try outs

my inbox clogged up with auditions this month. auditions are job interviews. i go on fifty or sixty of these job interviews a year. i shave if it's corporate.
you hear some dumb shit at auditions. and it's the same dumb shit everywhere you go.
"they said you all could go home."
a witty stab at clearing the room out. it only succeeds in begging a few people to scramble for another punch. my favorite snarky response to "forget it guys, i got the part":
"yeah, the one in your hair."
thank you, matt young.
today i had a job interview for an ESPN spot that features cheerleaders. the kid at the sign-in table suggested to the young ladies auditioning that they all stretch out because the script might call for some real moves.
thank you, kid at the sign-in table.
even i limbered up for my subtle portrayal of a bearded coach by cracking my neck bones. it's something i do often since in the 10th grade matt young dropped me on my head. you're right, it does explain a lot. not everything. but a lot.
meanwhile, the kid kept chatting up these perky girls. he asked:
"are you two real cheerleaders?"
smiling at each other, they fake-decided who was going to field it this time:
"used to. we're retired."
she seemed so wise at that moment. or maybe it was her moustache.


Blogger Jed said...

is that a mustache question? The kind that gets all stuck up in ya mustache?

8/23/2006 11:17 AM  
Blogger rp said...

where's the 'virgin in the city' post?

8/26/2006 2:30 AM  
Blogger Overdroid said...

To me it's always, those two guys. You know those two guys. They are at every audition and they are talking exitedly about what they have done recently. One has done more than the other, but the other is really supportive and not in the least bit jealous. The status transition is the same every time. I hate those two guys. Then I realized that sometimes I am one of those two guys. Now I will only have conversations at auditions that have nothing to do with the business and are blatantly absurd. I can tell people I dig if they are willing to spend 5 minutes talking about the lasers we've had installed in our headlights with total candor while everyone in the waiting room eyes us uncomforably.

Also, Matt, Mary, and Jed rock.

Also anyone else I might know here that is using an alias and I don't recognize also rocks.

Also, the OVERDROID will eat your organic brains and reduce you to a series of formulas.

8/28/2006 2:06 AM  
Blogger maryk said...

BABY Formulas? WHAT a ROBOT!

9/07/2006 12:02 PM  

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