Monday, February 06, 2006

that'll be six dollars have a nice day you filthy kike

so, i've only worked one job so far this wonderful year of 2006. slim pickin's. i had one audition a few weeks ago for a sandra bullock thriller, premonition. i know how it ends. i'm clairvoyant. or maybe they sent me the ENTIRE SCRIPT.
tonight i auditioned. to play a bigot. for a news show. well, abc primetime. so, while i'm trying to grasp the idea of fake news, my wife reminds me i've only worked one job so far this wonderful year. i quit thinking about it and went.
the producer, chris, is an affable, professional anchor-type. he recently shot a hidden camera piece with a man verbally abusing a woman in a park. i guess to see how people would react. the man would get very close to hitting her. chris said many women passers-by had no problem getting between the man and woman. and i'm gonna bet those same women had no problem signing the release when they discovered they was on the tv.
of course, the bad man and victimized woman were actors.
chris showed me and a couple other local actor-types some footage. an actor driving a taxi, who elicits a response from the fare-riders by baiting them with racist dialogue. the actor was good, an easy going black guy. he talked about how arabs smell funky, and how he wishes they could put 'em all on a boat and ship 'em outta here. the reaction of several old white women was unsurprising: agreement. a shared "intense dislike" for those people.
after the viewing, i felt the humor seeping quickly out of the building. the discussion turned to "how tame do you want it?" which was goddam interesting. how tame, indeed. i was all ready to turn it up a notch. get some reactions.
the producer said, because of standards and practices, the N word was out. also no G word for asians. a college-aged PA looked puzzled.
what's that?
gook, the producer helped, you're too young.
i casually bowed out of the (forgive me) race for the part. the producer reminded me there'd be an off-duty cop trailing the taxi, and afterward it'd be made clear the racist was merely acting.
but i couldn't find any real, progressive idea in it. either i'd be making someone uncomfortable and maybe ruining their day, or i'd be strengthening someone else's suspicions with no consequence. i'd just feel frustrated either way 'cause i couldn't be funny. i'd wanna make up my own slurs.
check out those spoonbacks over there!
ever smell a vittle-lover?
no boil-diggers gonna take MY american job!
why do scribs always got a dozen kids?
moreover, i'd hafta to play the castrated version of the racist, not being able to say anything truly nasty, and a half-assed racist ain't no better 'an a dirty slant-hand.

plus i don't wanna drive a fucking taxi all day in savannah.
so i got home and checked out abc news primetime. one section is called 'are we prepared?' (guess what it's about), one called 'remembering peter' (i'll give you two guesses) another one simply 'the unexplainable' (guess all night, who knows.......)
oh, it's news. if you have some emotional pain in your family and want to share, if you've ever committed road rage, if your marriage is in trouble, there are primetime journalists standing by to exploit your need for national tv coverage.

by the way, googlism for kike. my favorite: is a chinaman as far as i know.


Blogger onthetowns said...

Bart was there too...
When he came out, he said "I think this will reveal as much about the actors as it does the passengers". Interesting that you walked out. What that says about you is "My wife has a good job". Bart's wife doesn't. I told him to get his honky ass in there and bring mama some money.

2/07/2006 2:48 PM  
Blogger maryk said...

Yeah, I just saw Bart in Target and he was talking about this, and how you were leaving when he came in. I don't think I could do it. Just curious, would any amount of money have made a difference? Or was it something you absolutely could not do or justify?

2/08/2006 10:43 AM  
Blogger ablebody said...

well, that's a good question, and of course for $50 dollars i would do it.
it just seems like a half-baked sensationlist idea - it's a fake news show with a hidden camera that reveals some 'hidden truth' but you can hear these conversations with ANY cabbie (i have). it really doesn't seem like fun.

2/09/2006 12:03 AM  
Blogger ablebody said...

also, it's a fact that while the black dude in the footage they showed us had an easy time being 'racist', a white guy like myself, part of the ruling class of the planet, might not be taken so easily. my power to oppress is enormous capared to his. it's always been laughable to be in a cab or in a store where one minority is slagging another minority - they appear (at least from my privileged perspective) as angry little people puffing up - the ugly feeling i get when i see a child echoing the parent's discrimination.

2/09/2006 11:22 AM  
Blogger onthetowns said...

Bart told me that the guy they finally cast for the Savannah segment was also black. So... no white oppression fake or otherwise for Primetime Live.

2/09/2006 2:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just don't see the point of the whole thing: yeah there are racists out there. Yeah, it only takes some rant-mumbles to get some of them going; and yeah there are people that would become extremely uncomfortable hearing it. What's the point? Is this a freshman college experiment? Where's it going, what's it for? And what's you wife got to do with it? *Ida walked out too*

2/11/2006 8:07 AM  

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