geddit?

gee bush on social security...

At his rallies, the crowds cheered his words against terrorism as though it were a nostalgic re-enactment of his campaign, and then fell into befuddled silence.

His convoluted explanations on social security were so confusing that Bush confessed: "Does that make any sense to you? It's kind of muddled. Look, there's a series of things that cause the... like, for example, benefits are calculated based upon the increase of wages, as opposed to the increase of prices. Some have suggested that we calculate ... the benefits will rise based upon inflation, as opposed to wage increases. There is a reform that would help solve the red if that were put into effect. In other words, how fast benefits grow, how fast the promised benefits grow, if those ... if that growth is affected, it will help on the red. OK, better? I'll keep working on it."

today is the greatest!

february 3, 2005 (post data)

i went on 2 auditions today. first, this morning, i auditioned for an
outdoor channel commercial. i played a deer. i was also what is
known as a reverse engineer. i was concentrating on decoding the new
duck calls from primos calls. they are the best.
i was interviewed in an improv and asked if i had ever encountered a hunter. i told them i joined a foursome at augusta. not until the back nine did i notice all three had rifles in their bags. by the 16th hole, they smelled my musk. i sliced a drive into the trees and pretending to look for it, i hoofed it back to my neck o' the woods.
this commercial would pay me $1200.
the second, this afternoon, was for a movie. i think it was called
"things that dangle from trees." in this one i played a lazy deputy
sheriff. i brought a bag of doritos in with me and ate them while i
delivered these three lines:
"i'm eatin'."
"she dead?"
"i ain't gettin' up in that tree."
that would pay me $450 per day for several days of work.
all of this is true.

li'l cysta dontcha

january 20, 2005 (post data)

i've had this bump of scar tissue over my right eyebrow as long as i can remember. a month ago i was knocking my head against a brick wall we call acting, and the bump filled up with pus. it stayed taught with promise, but without an escape pore.
i got a shot of cortizone, the needle stuck right in the middle of it. boy we angered it. a little blood came out, but over the next few days, the steroids dissolved most the scar tissue. since then, i've had a puddle of pus under the skin.
like a feral wart, i had to let it out.
twice.
fountains of blood, cheesy flotsam riding waves of white blood cells, chunk cannons firing hard strings onto the wall, and always more blood, blood, blood.
i wish i had taken pictures.
anyway, i shot a ford commercial in north carolina yesterday and they had to put a hat over it. i told them i got hit in the head at a fencepost brawl. they didn't buy it.
by the way, they've "hip-cool-funkified" the ford focus. i was s'posed to represent the slacker demographic who would buy one. as the tye pennington-clone spokesman said "they told me you were perfect for this, a guy who looked like he could be stoned all the time."
i get sleepy when i smoke pot. is that a demographic? the sleepers.
yawn...super fuckin' yawn.

december 31, 2004 (post data)

this guy, he's being kept an eye on. blindfolded. one step down. this girl, she's standing over him about to backhand the shit out of his face, already screwed up in terror.
it wasn't a girl with which he cheated on her. it wasn't even human. what could he say to satisfy her tiny mind, to relieve its delicate swelling? what if she simply witnessed a sentient end table fellating him? words would escape the room and she would get it.
no such luck now, boyo. this guy, he's ductaped to a chair. tightly. this girl, she's one step up, the potential about to go kinetic, and she has no idea he's now being entered anally by the chair.

and so it goes.

december 27, 2004 (post data)

children these days. they get it. they know they get it. parents who don't get it have kids that innately get it, yet have it slowly squeezed out of them, a la the play-doh fun factory.
a 12-year-old girl named amelia defined mellifluously. then, upon deciding desever was a better choice than decapitate, noted that the former is "more frequently used in old english, as in 'the soul desevered from its ancient body.' "

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

a couple weeks ago i filmed a movie for three days in florida with paul giamatti. it's called "the hawk is dying" and should prove interesting to both giamatti fans, and florida movie fans. it's directed by julian goldberger and is keen on doing florida movies, since the only director with dibs on the state seems to be victor nunez.
we had a blast by the way. i play a character pressured into allowing giamatti in to see his autistic nephew played by michael pitt . ironically, michelle williams is in the flick, and, as you dawson's creek fans know, she and i had a scene in one of the last regular season episodes. a persuasive girl.
things i learned on this shoot:
1. go with whatever happens
2. continue the scene after it ends on the page
3. don't ask, just try it
4. wherever you are is the place to be
5. it's not how it should be, it's what it is