today is the greatest!

february 3, 2005 (post data)

i went on 2 auditions today. first, this morning, i auditioned for an
outdoor channel commercial. i played a deer. i was also what is
known as a reverse engineer. i was concentrating on decoding the new
duck calls from primos calls. they are the best.
i was interviewed in an improv and asked if i had ever encountered a hunter. i told them i joined a foursome at augusta. not until the back nine did i notice all three had rifles in their bags. by the 16th hole, they smelled my musk. i sliced a drive into the trees and pretending to look for it, i hoofed it back to my neck o' the woods.
this commercial would pay me $1200.
the second, this afternoon, was for a movie. i think it was called
"things that dangle from trees." in this one i played a lazy deputy
sheriff. i brought a bag of doritos in with me and ate them while i
delivered these three lines:
"i'm eatin'."
"she dead?"
"i ain't gettin' up in that tree."
that would pay me $450 per day for several days of work.
all of this is true.